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aravelleRight now, I hate people. I'm angry, I'm sick of people's bullshit. I'm sick of attention whores, I'm sick of hypocrites, I'm sick of pretentious motherfuckers and those in love with their sorrow, those whom are comfortable with misery. When I get like this, I want to destroy. I want to sink my teeth into something and feel it bleed, to taste blood on my tongue.
I want to fix everything, I want more people to be happy and for more people to grow and get the fuck over themselves. We are all unique and important in our own way, but we're also still damn specks in the universe. It's confusing but true and I'm just sick of people. I wish humans weren't social creatures and I would be happy alone. I don't really wish that, but it's sure as hell what's coursing through my head.
I just want things to be okay. I want the people I love to be happy, or at the very least better. In a petty way I wish they were never broken. I know I don't mean it, because pain has brought some of them great growth and I hope it will bring it to the others. I want people to grow.
I want so many things for people, I'm afraid of having a god complex. I'm soft and sweet and meek to some, but I'm different from E. Under those layers of tough, there is soft, there is tenderness, there is a stubborn, ever wounded child who wants someone to make it all better. Underneath my soft, my kindness and sweetness there is the impulses of someone who wants to snap necks and break fingers and crown themselves god, to have people obey my every whim and have things my way because my way is best. It is an ugly truth I see in myself, that I don't think anyone else does. It makes me feel hypocritical as someone who preaches about tolerance and being considerate, but I discovered it semi recently. I'd have to learn more, to reflect and analyze before I know how to change it.... but a bigger question is, do I want to?
I want to fix everything, I want more people to be happy and for more people to grow and get the fuck over themselves. We are all unique and important in our own way, but we're also still damn specks in the universe. It's confusing but true and I'm just sick of people. I wish humans weren't social creatures and I would be happy alone. I don't really wish that, but it's sure as hell what's coursing through my head.
I just want things to be okay. I want the people I love to be happy, or at the very least better. In a petty way I wish they were never broken. I know I don't mean it, because pain has brought some of them great growth and I hope it will bring it to the others. I want people to grow.
I want so many things for people, I'm afraid of having a god complex. I'm soft and sweet and meek to some, but I'm different from E. Under those layers of tough, there is soft, there is tenderness, there is a stubborn, ever wounded child who wants someone to make it all better. Underneath my soft, my kindness and sweetness there is the impulses of someone who wants to snap necks and break fingers and crown themselves god, to have people obey my every whim and have things my way because my way is best. It is an ugly truth I see in myself, that I don't think anyone else does. It makes me feel hypocritical as someone who preaches about tolerance and being considerate, but I discovered it semi recently. I'd have to learn more, to reflect and analyze before I know how to change it.... but a bigger question is, do I want to?
(no subject)
Date: 2013-09-10 06:14 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-09-10 06:25 am (UTC)