Adventures in the Deep

 I may be Queen Derp [to be bride of J, King of Derp] but sometimes, I am pretty fucking smooth. E wrote "[insert my name here]'s Slut" on her arm, and sent me a picture of this,  and I thought it was her thigh, so I texted her back that I would kiss her thigh. She asked why I would. I panicked for a moment, but then said so I could kiss my way between her legs, and it turned into a sexting session. If that isn't covering your ass, I don't know what is. E's a bigger girl and very sensitive about her weight, and if I had told her that I mistook her arm for her thigh [especially having seen her arms and thighs] she would have been SO upset. Normally I am extremely honest but if I told her the truth, it would do nothing but hurt her, and bring no good. So I am a bit sad I semi-lied to her, but eh. I like her thighs and and her arms, her size is just another thing about her to me, like her skin issue and her height and her big beautiful eyes. I don't really care. If anything, it's a benefit because it makes her extra squishy and cuddlable, and she's already taller than me so she's like a dream teddy bear I can curl up on. 8D