(no subject)

 I hate it when you have the kind of sadness and insecurity that weighs on you, and trying to push it away or tell yourself it is unreasoable or that you shouldn't feel it is like trying to move a boulder off your leg. You can't. You just can't, and you feel like you're not strong enough and you're weak and inferior because you can't, and why should someone like you have all that you do, all that you're not grateful for and don't deserve, because you can't move that damn weight. I hate that.