May. 9th, 2014

deadly.

May. 9th, 2014 05:14 pm
aravelle: A picture of a lamia bathing by a window, in a wooden tub. (Default)

Trying to breathe without my lungs, trying to live without blood... it's hard. It's only one day, one day without him, without our connection, and I feel like my heart is withering away. I feel like I'm underwater and I'm perfectly human. If I breathe in, the void will be filled with something different, something that's not supposed to be there. All she is doing is chattering about her love, her child. My child is gone, my love is away, he can't even keep our connection because of his guilt.. I can't help but be angry, I want her to shut up. And I can't say I've never felt that before. I just feel awful and hollow and the last thing I want to hear about is how happy and mushy she is with them. My baby is gone. I miss her. I'm starving. I can't even work on the missions, I can't make progress to see her sooner, to see him. I am so lonely. It's only a day, but it's a bad one. Tomorrow I may be alive, I am sure I will be Sunday. But right now I am suffering, and I want someone to comfort me, because nothing else is helping. Listen to me, damn it. I'm quiet but I'm screaming. Listen. 

I feel lost, strange in my own skin. I'm not used to that. Everything feels dry and rough, maybe hard, when I'm so used to fluid. Mermaids were never meant for dry land, even if they're half-human. I want to go back.

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