aravelle: A picture of a lamia bathing by a window, in a wooden tub. (Default)
 I await the day that I feel my voice is beautiful, when I feel like I can really sing, so that I can sing songs for my gods. I just want them to be happy, to be able to open my heart up to them and sing, to sing something beautiful. It's something I have disliked about this body, ever since I was small. My voice is naive and child-like, it isn't beautiful when I sing, it's like a trembling fawn's leg, or a half finished piece of pottery. It mocks the life I had before, where I sang so wonderfully and naturally..

mermaids.

Sep. 5th, 2013 12:20 am
aravelle: A picture of a lamia bathing by a window, in a wooden tub. (Default)
Something people don't really know about me, is that I cry a lot. When I'm with the right person, I cry on a daily basis [and by the right person, I usually mean E]. I cry out of happiness, out of sympathy, out of being overwhelmed by beauty. Occasionally I cry out of anger but I rarely do I cry out of sorrow or suffering. I like to think that it's because of what Hans Christian Anderson said, "But a mermaid has no tears, and therefore she suffers so much more.” Mermaids have no tears for sorrow, and when they do, it's what shreds of humanity they have that show.

I don't want to be human, so it's all the more reason to avoid crying out of sadness and suffering. I mean, I'm not stupid, I am human in this body, this piece of me is human, as well as several of my past lives, but if I can get away with calling myself not human, and playfully joking I'm a mermaid I'll do it goddamnit.

I lied. I do want to be human, because I want some of the human experiences... I like it, and I don't. Humans have opportunities that others don't, they are the queerest creatures as far as I'm concerned, individually complex but wholly simple. I think, to be amongst humans as a human, is a very big test, and how we conduct ourselves says lots about us as people. It's necessary for growth and to challenge ourselves. In that sense, humans are very important; there are some lessons that can't be learned say, as a rabbit or as an elf. [I imagine some of the things you'd learn as those could be very similar to one another.]

I'm watching Wolf Children right now, and it just got me thinking about all this. So far, it is very good, very touching. The vibe I got from some of the gifsets rang true, it very much feels the way I expected. If it continues to be this good, it may very well be one of my favourites. It's beautiful and tender, and reminds me of a faerietale.
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