Her lullaby, as far as I'm concerned. Annabelle's Wish is very her, from what I can tell.
I cleansed the body of the fetch, and made her another outfit and toy Over There. It's all I had energy to do. I'm exhausted. I really hope I'm not a bad mother. She deserves nothing but the best.
You know, this baby better be cute because I had to kill a fucking pony for it, and I still feel bad for taking an innocent life
even though it was actually delicious. :I It couldn't even defend itself, but the deer wasn't cutting it, it lacked something Baby needed. I apologized to that horse, even if it didn't understand what I was saying. I tried to keep the pain as minimal as possible, and for once, I did not eat its heart. There is no sport, no trophy to be won for taking a lamb to the slaughter. He was so big and beautiful too, easily 7 and a half feet tall.. I wonder if he was some kind of super horse. He didn't seem to be smarter, nor did he have the ability to talk. Sigh. At least Baby's sated. Earlier after I ate, she gave off the energetic equivalent of purring, it was preeeetty precious.
Thank god I got another vial of astral oil earlier. Mom was clearly annoyed I wanted to go to the shop, but I begged her, telling her that it was basically an emergency. I don't want to use too much mugwort before she's born, it just doesn't feel right, whereas the oil slips me Over There in no time. It's cheap shit too, 5 bucks for a few ounces, and it takes only a 4-6 drops to work its magic.I need to start "shopping" for things to use for the fetch. I may use cat's claws and chinchilla hair. I have chameleon skin, I think that will prove very valuable. I am contemplating using some of my parrot's feathers, but I'm not sure for what qualities
You know, I thought that maybe the baby would have to be bottle fed, not its mother. Damn me and my blood cravings, I'm a true blue Bella Fucking Swan over here. Good thing J brought me those mason jars..
I think the baby is a girl. We haven't decided on names, but we're leaning more towards french ones like Nicole and Charlotte, since that is what he likes and I think they're pretty too. I was contemplating Aislinn, but I think the baby's fetch may be named that instead.
I don't want to sound too Twilightey, but I can feel the baby's personality already, its aura. It's lilac and twilight-oceany blue, it sparkles and is terribly intelligent. She's gonna be an Aquarius after all, it doesn't help J and I are such hardcore thinkers as it is. She's going to be the most inquisitive little squirt there is. o.o
When I went Over There today, I looked a good 5 months pregnant. I hope the baby can wait a good 3-4 days, I want to be able make the fetch before I give birth.I think I talked to her, too. She heard me crying last night, apologizing to her that I may not be able to provide very well and that I felt alone, and she told me that she loved me and that it was okay. It was both heart warming and heart breaking, ever how woo it is. I love her so much already. [I may use she and it interchangably, but I'm rather sure it's a girl.]
Of course I can't find my astral travel oil once I get knocked up... looks like I'll be making a stop to Dragonmarsh for another.. because going without right now is not an option, and I'm too scared to regularly use mugwort, mom tries to throw it away as it is and I'm super scatter brained today and I already used it on Thursday.. and we're in a drought so I really shouldn't be taking a bath to travel... ugh.
At least I've got the basic blueprints for making the fetch. Now, to think about what traits I want.. best consult J though, of course. He knows I want to make one for Baby and thinks it's a wonderful idea.
My tummy seems to feel smaller, that or I don't feel it little to none at all. I hope Baby is okay. Spirit says she is. [I feel like Baby is a she.] I will plan to feed later, J's bringing me food and supplies but.. I'm just nervous. Very much so. I don't know how to mom, much less a Jotun/God-mermaid baby. That may be a friggin' first. And there's no documenting -that I know of- of how to take care of merbabies, assuming that I'm all mer, as I have a snakey form too... I almost wish that dragon is genetic, because it would make this a lot easier and I could just consider it my final poke-evolution. *is shot* But no, that had to be a fluke, a gift.... grrrrr.
Baby is definitely growing, my phantom tummy is getting larger. I feel like part of me is literally stretching and growing. Baby wanted blood earlier, so I had to go hunting. I killed a rabbit and a deer caribou thing [it was female but had antlers?] and barely sated myself. I am worried about Baby's appetite growing, and me trying to keep up with it. I am going to try to eat lots of protein and iron rich things to curve cravings, otherwise I may have to feed on the local village's livestock if hunting gets slim. I feel seafood won't sate my hunger. That, or I may have to ask J to help me.
I am also concerned about creating a fetch for the baby. I want it to have an eternal guardian and friend, someone who will obey me and report to me. E has made one, and he is FANTASTIC, I adore him. I thought that this baby was going to be the awaited Imri, but now I don't, so I don't know what this baby's fetch will be.
Another.. anomaly about this pregnancy, is that it was, is an accident. J and I both want kids, but we didn't plan for this to happen. He's very upset over that. He really didn't think I was pregnant, he didn't believe me, but after the readings, after his father and Mother confirmed it, there isn't much more to say. I have a bit of a bump over there, and it's only bound to get bigger. I am worried about going into labor during school, or while I am walking home. This baby is a demi-god after all, we don't even know my heritage, except that my father is a god. Well, HE knows my father but I don't yet. I hope Father won't be mad. I think that's why J is upset, because he knows that this pregnancy will intervene with the plans father has for me, but the idea of giving the baby up is unacceptable, to say the least. Unthinkable honestly. I already love them and feel them growing inside me. I don't know if I'm ready to be a mother, but would I ever be?